I'm trying to be good...

Yes, co-worker. I saw your new porno-stache. I did not make a Ron Jeremy joke.

I did not ask if I could have a ride in the Trans Am...if it was OK with Sally Fields,of course.

I did not inquire about your enrollment in the Police Academy in order to become a State Trooper.

I made not one comment about your new cookie duster.

It looks awful. Please, dear Gods in Heaven, shave it. I can only hold my tongue for so long...

Edited to add: Hey Earl! How's that Karma list thing going?

More: Let me buy you a drink. What'llya have? Schlitz? Haam's? Oh, I know...Pina Colada! (He's under 30, so he probably wouldn't get that one.)

Leisure suit at the cleaners?